Third Person Spotlight
While we often think of ‘mutually transforming relationships’ between core members and assistants as being the heart of L’Arche, our logo shows three people in the L’Arche boat. We want to put a spotlight on the third person – our family, friends, neighbours, volunteers, donors, and other partners in the mission -who contribute immeasurably to our life together and our contribution to creating a more just, caring, and delightful world.
Third Person Spotlight: Kathie Drummond and Gerry Rocchi
In this spotlight, we’re delighted to introduce you to Kathie Drummond and Gerry Rocchi, a couple who are faithful friends and supporters of our community with a special connection to the members of Gamble House and River House. They have chosen L’Arche Toronto to receive a significant portion of their charitable giving over the past several years, including generous gifts to the capital campaigns for River House and our second Regent Park Condo. Here are their reflections on their place in the L’Arche boat.
Kathie’s L’Arche Journey
I first heard about L’Arche many years ago from a friend in Windsor who had been to France and volunteered at L’Arche. I thought it was a wonderful concept. Then I heard the Massey Lectures around 1998, which I found inspiring. I was quite busy then, working and raising my family, and there was no L’Arche community in Windsor, so I didn’t pursue anything at the time.
Flash forward a few years to me living in Toronto and meeting Gerry. I was surprised to hear that he had already been supporting L’Arche. As soon as I retired, I contacted L’Arche Toronto to see about volunteering. I met with Kathy, who was the Volunteer Coordinator at that time. I helped stuff envelopes and did whatever I could to help at the office while awaiting a background check. Hannah, the Homes Coordinator, also interviewed me and set up a time for me to go to Gamble House. She thought that Stacy, Janet, and I would enjoy spending time together. Danielle, the House Leader, welcomed me to Gamble, and I had my first dinner there. I was very nervous, but everyone was welcoming and friendly. Stephen was so sweet the first time we met; he gave me one of the plates with cars and buses on it that he had made.
As the years passed, I became closer to everyone at Gamble. I had many Tuesday night dinners at the house. We’d play Uno; Janet always won! And play Bingo; Stacy liked to call the numbers. It was such a real home! Afterwards, we would sit in the living room and light a candle, and one of the assistants would read something appropriate. We would go around the circle and say what we were thankful for. It was so sweet to hear what was important for them, and what they were thankful for. Once, Stephen said he was thankful for me; it was so touching. I always felt warm inside when I left there.
I am really struck by the loving attention and care that the assistants give to the core members. The world is enriched by their loving home environment. There has been a high turnover of assistants over the years, which is understandable. Yet, while assistants come and go, there is a consistency in the love and care that they share with the core members. It truly feels like a home full of love.
Often, I would go on fun outings with Janet and Stacy. We’d go out for Swiss Chalet, ice cream, or to the movies. We went to see Cinderella, the new live version, and they just loved it. Stacy and I would wait while Janet had a manicure; then we’d go out for dinner. It was just fun. It was so satisfying to see them living their best lives.
Once, I had tickets for the play ‘& Juliet’ that I had already seen. It’s a really rousing musical. So, I contacted Caroline and asked if there was anyone at L’Arche who could use them. Emma, the current House Leader at Gamble, went with Patricia, who moved from Gamble to River. Afterwards, Emma sent me a note. “We were both dancing in the aisles. Patricia just loved it!” It makes you feel good to think you may have helped a bit.
Gerry’s L’Arche Journey
I grew up in Hamilton. I had a second cousin named Christopher, who was physically and intellectually disabled. He had such a tough life. Unfortunately, he died after a tragic accident. In his obituary, it recommended that donations be made to L’Arche Hamilton. I had no idea what that was. Then I read up about L’Arche, and I wondered if that was one of the few places in his life where Chris felt welcome. He only went there for Day Programs, but it was the one place he mentioned. That really struck me. I imagined something about L’Arche without really knowing it. I had this warm feeling that someone who felt alone all their life finally felt welcome someplace.
Many years later, in 2000 or 2001, I was working in downtown Toronto, and a friend of mine invited a number of executives on Bay Street to lunch to hear about L’Arche from Nathan Ball who was the head of the L’Arche Canada Foundation at that time. Nathan was inspirational. I don’t give to many charities. I try to give a large amount to a small number as opposed to a small amount to a large number. Afterwards, L’Arche Canada went on the rotation of the charities to which I gave. Later, I joined the Investment Committee for the L’Arche Canada Foundation.
Giving has always been a big share of my budget, and since Kathie and I got together, our budget. We work hard on figuring out who it is we are giving to, and it has changed over time. It is always a choice for us. You should really believe in where you are directing your donations. By then, Kath had begun volunteering for L’Arche Toronto, so I got to know L’Arche Toronto so much more. We would attend dinners and some of the events at the Gathering Place. I began to see that all the magic happens in the communities, so we switched our donations to L’Arche Toronto.
I’ve attended a lot of dinners at Gamble House with Kathie. Sometimes, you’re there, and someone is not having a good day. But you come back. It’s important to go back after they have a bad day because we all have them. Other times, they’re having a great day. And it’s really gratifying because you hope you played a part through your support, by being a constant friend.
The Challenge of the COVID Pandemic
Unfortunately, Covid disrupted our regular get-togethers, but we tried to help as we could. Twice, we had the group up from Gamble to have something on our front lawn with distance. We set up tables and chairs on our front lawn and had a couple of Swiss Chalet lunches with social distancing. We donated to help fund the program so that live-in assistants could have a day off at a hotel. We felt good because we were all depending on those assistants so much. We wanted them to have a break and to know how much they were appreciated.
Our outings have not been as frequent since the pandemic, but we did invite the gang to a celebration of Raphael at our home when he was leaving the role of Executive Director. And we brought Swiss Chalet to River House last year so we could see the new home and have dinner with the Gamble House folk who had moved there. We love our involvement with L’Arche!
We are supporting L’Arche Toronto to have a greater impact
When we heard about the River House project, we thought the proposition was compelling, not just to expand L’Arche’s overall capacity but to create different, more meaningful experiences for the core members. The condo is such an innovative idea, having everything on the same floor, everything accessible, and connected to the wider community. We decided to jump in early and became one of the first major donors to that capital campaign. Later, we encouraged Raphael, “What do you think about a second project?” And we have also given one of the first major donations to the second Regent Park condo project now underway, with more to come.
We wish that L’Arche was at a greater scale so it could do more and that L’Arche’s successes were talked about more, so it gets to be known as a ‘go to’ place that helps with something that society struggles with. It’s unfortunate to think about the revelations of the founder, but we believe that L’Arche will come back even stronger because of it. L’Arche is not about one person. It never was. It’s community. We see how much L’Arche does and how meaningful it is for the core members – how much dignity, love, and respect they receive by being in the L’Arche community. We wish L’Arche could be more scalable. And in a small way, we’re trying to help with that.
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